"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."
— Maya Angelou

There are moments when life comes crashing down without warning—like a wave that engulfs everything in its path. For me, it happened in the space of five minutes. Work, health, family, private life—everything unraveled, all at once. I felt like the walls were closing in, the floor falling beneath me into a bottomless pit of despair. I lay there crying, shouting, then silent—terrified of what tomorrow might bring.

And I’m a therapist. I’m trained to help others move through their darkest days. I know the tools. I teach the strategies. But nothing shields us completely from life’s unexpected collapse. Pain doesn’t discriminate.

This is the story of how I used what I teach to find my way back—one day at a time.

Day One: Feeling Sorry for Myself

I gave in. I curled into the sadness and allowed myself to feel the full weight of the moment. Grief, anger, helplessness—letting it all in. Not resisting the pain, but honoring it.

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
— Carl Rogers

This wasn’t failure. This was the beginning of healing.

Day Two: Anger at the Universe

From sorrow came rage. At life. At circumstances. At how unfair it all felt. Anger, though uncomfortable, became my companion and catalyst. It reminded me I still had fire inside me. Emotion is energy—and energy can be redirected.

Day Three: Remembering My Own Strength

I asked myself: Am I not the person who supports others through breakdowns? The person who teaches resilience and strength?

Yes. I am.

And now, it was time to turn those tools inward.

“She remembered who she was and the game changed.”
— Lalah Delia

Day Four: Reframing Through NLP

I turned to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), a model of communication and personal development that focuses on how we structure our thoughts. NLP taught me that meaning is not inherent—it's interpreted. And I could shift my interpretation.

“It’s not what happens to you that makes the difference, it’s how you interpret what happens to you.”
— Richard Bandler, co-creator of NLP

Yes, my life felt like ruins. But ruins are where new structures can begin. I reframed the collapse as a reset—a harsh one, yes—but a clean slate for new opportunities. NLP also teaches that we already have all the internal resources we need. Sometimes, they’re just buried beneath layers of beliefs or past pain.

Day Five: There Is No Past, Only Thought

That’s when I remembered Jørgen Rasmussen, a provocative hypnotist and author of Provocative Hypnosis, who challenges how we think about memory.

“There is no such thing as the past—only thoughts labeled as the past.”

It’s a mind-bending idea, but deeply freeing. The past is a memory—a thought in the present. The future is a projection—also just a thought. What we experience is filtered through our emotions, beliefs, and current perspective. That means we can update it.

Think about it: Do you remember an event the same way now as you did a week after it happened? Or three years later? Likely not. The memory didn’t change—but your relationship to it did.

That’s power. That’s freedom.

Day Six: Seeing Through the Walls – Enter CBT

The metaphorical walls were still there—but now, they were see-through. I was ready to analyze, not just react. I began writing down my emotions and unpacking their roots. Many of them weren’t even about the current situation. They stemmed from old, unresolved patterns—childhood fears, internalized doubts, stories I’d told myself for years.

That’s where Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) helped. CBT teaches us that our thoughts shape our emotions, and by identifying distorted thinking, we can rewire how we feel and act.

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”
— Norman Vincent Peale

Day Seven: A Solution-Focused Future

I started shifting my focus with the help of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT). Instead of endlessly exploring the problem, I began asking: What do I want instead? and What small step could make things just a little bit better today?

Solution-focused work doesn’t ignore pain—it simply builds toward possibility.

The Journey Isn’t Linear – And That’s Okay

Of course, this summary skips over the messy, nonlinear nature of healing. Sometimes, progress looks like three steps forward, two steps back. Some days you’ll feel strong, and others you’ll break again.

But one truth anchors me: nothing lasts forever. No emotion is permanent. No wall is impenetrable. The road might twist, pause, or break—but it continues.

“Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever felt like the walls are closing in—know that you’re not alone. Whether you’re a therapist or a student, a CEO or a caregiver, the human experience doesn’t spare anyone. But within that experience is the capacity to rebuild.

Every tool I’ve mentioned—NLP, CBT, SFBT—is just one path forward. What matters most is remembering that there is a path. And that you are worthy of walking it.

Recommended Resources & References:

Bandler, R., & Grinder, J. (1979). Frogs Into Princes: Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Rasmussen, J. (2010). Provocative Hypnosis.

Burns, D. D. (1999). Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy.

Ratner, H., George, E., & Iveson, C. (2012). Solution Focused Brief Therapy: 100 Key Points and Techniques.

Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly.

Rogers, C. R. (1961). On Becoming a Person.

Gilbert, E. (2006). Eat Pray Love.